In Another World
by JadeEye
Summary: An outdoor sleepover with the girls.


A/N: You probably need to have read STC to understand this. This is basically just the characters from that looking at the canon universe and commenting on it. Hopefully it's funny…?

For those waiting, STC is still simmering! Thanks for your patience!

Disclaimer: It goes without saying that if I owned Sailor Moon, Darien's wardrobe would be vastly different. Although I'd keep the suspenders and cummerbund from the manga. So hot!

Also, I don't own The Killers' song "Somebody Told Me."

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It came out during a slumber party.

Their annual Senshi slumber parties were always outside because none of them had houses big enough – or fire-proof, or lightning-proof, or water-proof enough – to hold all nine of the Senshi (plus Rini) or the fights that tend to break out among said Senshi.

This year, they were camped out in the backyard of the rather spooky old mansion that Haruka and Michiru had just bought, gathered around a campfire that they had to bribe Rei to light (well, not so much bribe as blackmail, using a photograph of her and Asanuma that Mina had somehow come into possession of).

Truth and Dare had gotten old two years ago, so this year they had created their own game. The goal was to say the most shocking thing that was also true, ideally resulting in someone choking – you got extra points if more than one person choked.

It was Setsuna's turn, and she said, "In another reality, we're all in love with Darien."

All sound ceased.

Even Mina, who never stopped chewing her bubble gum, felt her jaw drop slack. The gum on her tongue rolled to the ground, into the campfire, and flared for a sizzling moment before turning into ash.

Setsuna smiled and took the last s'more: the prize for winning the game. "I believe this is mine."

"No way!" Lita burst out suddenly in a rather delayed response. "No way in hell! Ref!" She stabbed a finger at the older woman and looked at Rini, who always served as referee in these games. "You're not allowed to lie in this game! Call her on it!"

"Yes, do!" cried Serena, looking upset, although whether it was because of Setsuna's announcement or because the Time Senshi was eating the last s'more was unclear.

"It's not a lie!" said Setsuna indignantly around a mouthful of chocolatey goo. "It's true!"

"She's not lying," stated Rei, who had the ability to tell when people weren't telling the truth, flatly. The priestess looked none too pleased by the honesty of Setsuna's declaration.

"I _know_ she's lying," declared Haruka comfortably, reclining back on the ground with her head in Michiru's lap. "After all, Michiru and I don't swing that way."

At this, Michiru blushed, and Setsuna smirked. "Michiru told me once that for Darien she would swing that way."

Serena's eyes bulged.

Michiru carefully avoided her gaze. And Haruka's.

"Well, Michiru's dirty cougar mind aside," said Lita. "No way in hell would _I_ ever like a nerdy ass like Shields."

"Agreed," said Ami, looking vaguely repulsed. "No offense meant, Serena. I mean…well. That tuxedo…"

"The tuxedo is manly!" Serena was red-faced. She felt rather confused as to why she was defending her husband's masculinity instead of just being glad that at least _some_ of her friends weren't secretly lusting after him.

Ami gave a polite shrug that clearly said, _If you say so_.

But Mina said, "Manly? His tuxedo? Not compared to Mikai's biceps it's not! Am I right, Ami-chan?"

Ami smiled demurely into her hand. "I will admit that I have seen few specimens who can challenge Mikai in terms of masculinity."

Rei snorted. "If you ignore the earrings, maybe."

"In the alternate reality I'm speaking of, Darien has an earring," Setsuna announced.

"REALLY uncalled for!" gasped Serena, jamming her hands over her ears. _Eeew! _Darien with an _earring_? She was sure he would sooner rip his ear off –

"And a lavender tuxedo," continued Setsuna, with the air of someone reminiscing. "The color of the sunrise." She paused, frowning slightly. "That's what won me over, apparently."

"A lavender tuxedo, huh?" Lita eyed Setsuna suspiciously and exchanged a glance with Mina. "Maybe going for girls is an Outer Senshi thing."

"Darien's not a girl!" wailed Serena.

"You have to admit, Serena, his features are rather effeminate," stated Ami. "His zygomatics, for example, and supraorbitals are exceptionally sharp for a male – "

"His hair's shiny," input Mina.

"Earring," said Rei.

"Two words: _lavender tuxedo_," said Lita. "And he never takes his shirt off. That's a girly man if I ever heard of one. Which is why _I_ – " She glared at Setsuna. " – would never be in love with him even if I was BRAINWASHED!"

"You were never brainwashed," said Setsuna, unperturbed. "You thought he looked like your old boyfriend."

Haruka cackled. "You had a boyfriend…who looked like a girlfriend…that I had in Februaryyy…"

"Maybe it's just not an Outer Senshi thing," added Michiru smugly.

Serena wailed more loudly, trying to drown them out. Beside her, Rini looked vaguely nauseated.

"What about me?" inquired Ami of Setsuna, ignoring the racket. "Why was I attracted to Darien in this alternate timeline?"

"You were attracted by his intellectual prowess and the way his hair sticks to the back of his neck when he sweats."

"OOOH!" howled all the girls but Serena and Rini. "Observant, Ami!"

"Well, I am a Virgo," said Ami modestly.

"Rei subconsciously saw Darien as a male version of herself, so she was attracted to him as a way of indulging her deep narcissism," continued Setsuna, eliciting a huff from Rei. "Mina just loves anything with a Y chromosome. Michiru saw him when her middle school class went to read to elementary schoolers and couldn't stop thinking about him after that. Haruka was just turned on by the fact that Darien's had his tongue in Serena's mouth."

This last comment produced a blanching silence even more profound than the one that had followed Setsuna's initial announcement.

"Man, you guys really are nasty, aren't you?" said Lita.

She, Mina, and Rei scooted over to block Serena, who was pulling a blanket over her head, from Haruka's view.

"What?" howled Haruka. "That isn't ME! It's just some weird freak from an alternate universe!"

"Hmm," said the Inner Senshi. They didn't move from where they had surrounded Serena.

Unperturbed, Hotaru asked, "Why does my alternate self like Darien-san, Setsuna?"

"He reminded you of a doll you used to have," said Setsuna. "Before you cut its head off."

Sweatdrops appeared all around, even on the Outer Senshi's heads.

"We're really messed up in this alternate reality, aren't we?" said Lita.

"You think _we_'re messed up?" said Setsuna with a spooky curve of her lips. "You should hear what Rini's alternate self does with Darien."

There was a silence.

"Let's not play this game next year," Lita said.

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End file.
